Out-of-the-ordinary media pitch

It seems that Somer Stephenson, Media Relations Specialist at Stephenson Consulting Group, has sent out an out-of-the-ordinary pitch (to say the least). His client, Karen S. Bond, J.D., Director of Government Affairs for the non-profit Federal Prison Policy Project and a former federal inmate herself, is offering herself to explain the conditions of life that Martha Stewart would have to face, should she be convicted.

From: Karen S. Bond, J.D.
To: xxx
Sent: Tuesday, March 02, 2004 10:50 PM
Subject: We The Jury Find the Defendant Martha Stewart Guilty! Former Federal Prisoner Available to Talk About Prison For Martha

We the jury find the defendant guilty of obstruction of justice. What does that mean for Martha Stewart? It means that she will in all likelihood hear Judge Cedarbaum say "You are hereby sentenced to a term of 24 months and are remanded for custody to the Federal Bureau of Prisons."

When the jury renders its verdict, which could be as soon as Wednesday of this week, your audience will want to know what life in federal prison will be like for her. There is no better way to present the stark contrast of life as a domestic diva versus life as a federal inmate than to hear it from a former attorney who was United States Federal Inmate #65078-061. Your audience will want to know:

- What kind of clothes will she wear? Steel toed boots for starters
- What does the inside of a federal prison camp look like? Let’s just say my dogs live in a nicer house than the accommodations ClubFed offers.
- Will she have to work? Yes, but the Bureau of Prisons discourages creativity on the part of inmates. They even got mad because we made toilet paper wreaths for Christmas decorations!
- How will other prisoners treat Martha? I'd advise her to take a crash course in martial arts unless she already knows Karate.

Karen S. Bond, former federal prisoner and attorney, is available for television, radio and print media interviews. Having survived the brutal unrealities of a federal prison camp, Karen has the insider's view of the prison reality that Martha Stewart will face. Currently the Director of Government Affairs for the nonprofit Federal Prison Policy Project, Karen is both an accomplished public speaker and a frequently published writer.

Would you be interested in Karen being a guest on your show or providing quotes for your print coverage? Karen is media trained and has been featured in both local and national media. We would be happy to provide you with a copy of Karen's credentials as well as graphic photographs from where she was beaten by a group of prisoners who simply didn't like white collar professional women while she was in federal prison.

When the jury foreman reads the guilty verdict are you prepared with your coverage? Please contact us today to make arrangements for Karen to be interviewed as part of your coverage. We have also listed Karen’s contact information below in case you wish to contact her directly.

Regards,

Karen S. Bond, J.D.
Director of Government Affairs
Federal Prison Policy Project
Columbus, OH 43068
www.fppr.us
614.501.XXXX (office)
614.595.XXXX (mobile)
614-573.XXXX (fax)

Somer Stephenson
Media Relations Specialist
Stephenson Consulting Group
Califon, NJ 07830
(908) 439-XXXX

The only changes I did here were correcting a couple of typos and blanking out the direct phone numbers.

Thanks to Gawker for the tip.